Due to the recent widespread acclaim and success of the social deduction game Among Us in which players must seek out the “impostor” within their group, this term, impostor, has been growing in popular usage. But what does it really mean? On a larger societal level, what does it signify for each of us to be impostors? How does one confront this inexplicable feeling of feeling fake, like a fraud, and how does this impact us psychologically?
Feeling like an impostor, is a combination of anxiety, self-doubt, and the feeling of “do I really deserve this… is this somewhere I belong”? It affects people across all walks of life, as well as the seemingly “successful”, from management executives at the top of the corporate ladder, to star students, excelling academically and socially. So where does it come from? And what does it really say about us?
The idea that our success has solely been the result of being extremely lucky is one of the most prevalent features of this syndrome. According to psychologist Audrey Ervin, it applies to anyone “who isn’t able to internalize and own their successes.” For the most part it means those who hold themselves up to extremely high standards, which could be a result of their own qualities or the environment they’ve grown up in.
Having high expectations, especially for perfectionists, can be something powerful but also dangerous. Naturally, setting high goals results in harder work and better results, but there can be many negative effects as well. Even a small problem, or the slightest misstep can result the person feeling like they haven’t been able to completely achieve their goal. And that maybe they don’t deserve it. The feeling that they could’ve done more, that they can still do more, even if what they’ve done is remarkable. The other cause is the environment you may have grown up in. If your parents demanded or wanted extremely good grades, this can also cause a feeling of impostor syndrome. Essentially it becomes I need to score high, do really well, and that is the only way to prove myself, to get approval, and oftentimes, even to feel loveable.
So how can it be overcome? Well, before we even get into that, Mike Cannon-Brokes (the CEO of Atlassian), has something really interesting to say. In a TEDx talk, he mentions how he used impostor syndrome to his advantage. He references an interaction with Elon Musk over Twitter regarding the South Australian Energy crisis. What initially just seemed like a simple Tweet, turned out to be so much more (which is becoming increasingly common in today’s world). As this escalated, he found himself in the center of what seemed to be a massive energy project for Australia, and it was something he knew absolutely nothing about. So when the news agencies and other media started asking him about it, he knew he had messed up. And he said at this point that he was out of his depth, he knew he was an impostor, but instead of freezing, he chose to learn and move forward instead. While this may not be directly related to the conventional idea of impostor syndrome, I believe it’s an important lesson regardless. That even if you truly are out of your depth, there’s always something you can do.
Now, onto the real thing itself. The first step is to find evidence of your success. Impostor syndrome is entirely based on feeling like a fraud, even when you truly aren’t. And so, the best way to start moving past it, is to show yourself. Get rid of the self-doubt in this way, and boost your confidence. The second step is to understand how absurd some of these thoughts might be. High levels of success never come from pure luck, and constantly remind yourself of this. That your success is a direct outcome of your hard work and talents. The third step is to talk about it to someone. When over 70% of the population is plagued with these very thoughts, it becomes really easy to find someone and converse with them. To find solace in the fact that you are not the only one.
Impostor syndrome is something I’m very familiar with, and it does affect me at times. But the most important thing I’ve learned, is to let them be moments, and not driving forces of your life. Beating this syndrome isn’t just about beating it, but in the long run it will really help out with your own self-confidence and esteem.
The Candid Contrarian 